[Adapted from the archives]
1 Humility is friendship’s secret sauce. It makes us brave to be vulnerable, to forgive and ask forgiveness, to ask for help and offer it.
2 Your friends are made in God’s image, not yours. They won’t fit your cardboard cut-out. Get comfortable with loving their unique shape and size.
3 Don’t guilt-trip. Don’t keep score. Friendship isn’t a one-for-me-one-for-you competition.
4 Don’t begrudge your friend’s success. Don’t be jealous or threatened. Cheer and say wonderful things about her, to her face and behind her back.
5 Have tons of fun.
6 Celebrate and respect your friend’s temperament and strengths. Protect her dignity when her weaknesses are exposed.
7 You aren’t responsible for your friend’s happiness, and she isn’t responsible for yours. But – carry each others’ burdens any way you can.
8 Be your friend’s barista, life coach, prayer warrior, stand-up comedian. Let her know she can hand herself in like an unedited essay. Just read her. No red pen.
9 Sometimes you’ll need to say hard things that are hard to hear. Only say them if your friend is in danger, deception or denial.
10 Don’t be over-sensitive. Yet sensitivity – being emotionally available – is what makes you a great friend. Don’t take things too personally. Yet friendship is very, very personal. That’s kind of the whole point. Lean on God for the wisdom and discernment to strike a happy, uncomplicated balance.
11 Don’t make your friend feel like an item on your to-do list.
12 Continually surrender your friendships to God and trust Him to protect them. Ask Him to bring to mind friends you need to pray for or connect with.
13 Invite. Include. Text. Reply. Show interest. Show up.
14 Practise living in two places at once – the chaos of life and the quiet of His presence – because when you’re constantly mindful that you’re not alone but in the presence of the King – you’re kind and confident, and you don’t need to get your security from your friends.
15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. (And eat cake with those who eat cake.)
16 As time barrels on, one or both of you might start living at a different pace, or needing space. Agree that while life blows hot and cold, your hearts toward each other can stay consistently warm.
17 We’re each the common denominator in all our relationships. So if we keep tripping over the same things, they’re probably our own feet.
18 Promise not to make promises unless you mean to keep them. Only say, ‘We should have coffee!’ if you totally mean it.
19 Judge your friends on their good intentions. Judge yourself on your actions.
20 You and me and your friend and every other human wearing sweatpants or skinny jeans – we’re all people Jesus would run to, and rescue. Always be kind.
. . .
Have an incredible weekend!
Feel free to share this post with anyone you call friend.
Traveling Light will be in stores in August 2019!
*Excited* to announce that Traveling Light – a 366-day Jesus adventure – is releasing worldwide three months earlier than anticipated!
It’s written for the brave life-traveler willing to walk off the map, sleep under stars, go the distance, unpack some baggage, wait patiently and prayerfully in transit, and clear checkpoints with nothing to declare. You’ll be comforted by the truth that there’s no place like home – and the sky’s the limit.
Here’s what’s on the menu if you’re reading this in an email: